I haven’t written any of my thoughts in a long time - not since I wrote about homosexuality, and conflicts with my family, and realizing that I’ll never convince my dad it’s not bad.
I don’t know if it’s the medicine, or my new relationship(s), or perhaps just plain busyness… It’s just I feel like I haven’t felt anything in a long while. Nothing worth writing about at least.
There was the night that I stared at my paper clips in my desk drawer. So many colors to choose from. I unfolded one and laid it next to me; stared at the wall. My veins were sticking out - pretty purple and blue.
But that was nothing. There still wasn’t any feeling there.
You visited. I liked how your hair was tousled and messy and fell over your eyes. But it was okay. We got lunch and your nose turned pink from all the hot sauce. I think I had fun. I wasn’t sad at least. I thought I would be. I thought it would toss my emotions into play again.
But still, it was nothing. There still wasn’t any feeling there.
So maybe that’s the problem. It’s not that I have too many emotions that I don’t know what to do with them. It’s that I have none. I can’t even write about them. I want to be a person again.
Something tells me Vicodin is not a good pair with my personality. It makes me feel crazy again.
"what’s a queen without her king?" well, historically, better
Mike Donehey (via kendalls-kaleidoscope)
Middle Earth Travel Posters - Created by The Green Dragon Inn
Prints are available for sale on Etsy.
Pippi Longstocking (1997)
Holland Roden photographed by martina tolot for line magazine S/S 2014I: If you were to act along side any male lead of you choice to play your love interest, who would it be?
H: Well, any male lead? Michael Shannon. Love interest? Hmm, that’s a tough one. I’m going to plead the fifth, or go with Dane DeHaan.